Help Us Save the Rainforest!
Hello, and welcome to OutsideOnly’s fundraising page, the greatest fundraising page this side of the Mississippi. In lieu of giving you a lengthy, written explanation about who we are and what we’re doing, I’ll just drop this handy-dandy video here instead. If a picture is worth a thousand words then this 3 minute movie is bonafide novel, basically the Moby Dick of fundraising videos.
Why Do We Need Help Fundraising?
As you can see, we’re clearly the most professional, the biggest badasses, and probably the best looking trio to ever attempt the Rickshaw Run. If this were a high school yearbook, we’d be voted “Most Likely to Win Everything and Look Damn Good Doing It.”
So you might be asking yourself, “If we’re so obviously perfect, why do we need help fundraising?” That’s a great question.
The answer?
There’s something else that needs your help. Something not nearly as perfect as we are. And that’s the Earth. The earth is in trouble.
And only you can save it.
What is CoolEarth?
Cool Earth, our charity of choice, is dedicated to saving the Earth.
To date, Cool Earth has saved over 900,000 acres of rainforest, a truly remarkable feat. But they need our help to save even more.
In case you’re on the fence about saving the rainforest, may I remind you that the trees produce oxygen, which we sometimes use to breathe. It’s true. In fact, the Amazon rainforest produces over 20 percent of the entire Earth’s oxygen. That’s real. I Googled it.
In addition to making the go-go gas that we all know and love (still talking about oxygen, people), the rainforest is also home to all manner of adorable animals.
Just look at all these cute baby creatures that live in the rainforest:
See this baby sloth?
If you don’t donate it’ll lose it’s home, and be
forced to hustle the streets to survive.
Have you ever seen a sloth hustle?
It’s an oxymoron.
This baby leopard?
Already stuffed. You didn’t donate fast enough.
And these things, whatever they are...
You don’t want them to be squished under a bulldozer, do you?
Unless they somehow manage to clog up the treads and cause the bulldozer to explode in a fiery rain of metal and ash, sparking an intense safety investigation that ensnares the entire tree clearing operation in acres of red tape, halting it indefinitely.
Then I guess it’d be worth it if they got smushed.
But we can’t count on that!
The point is, there are things in the rainforest that are worth protecting.
Plus, as an added bonus, the rainforest itself is literally keeping us alive.
I honestly don’t know how else to persuade you people.
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The only other thing I can throw in to sweeten the already sweet pot, are pictures, postcards, and prose from our Indian adventure.
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If you donate 10 dollars, we’ll send you a picture that we took in India.
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If you donate 20 dollars, we’ll turn that picture into a postcard and hand write you a personal thank you message (legibility may vary).
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And if you donate 40 bucks or more, I’ll write you a pretty poem on that picture postcard. Your choice of meter. Iambic pentameter excluded.